back to the real world ....

cat and geo vaca - north captiva island




10 Things I Learned on Our Florida Vacation

1.  I MUST get a golf cart

(there are no cars allowed on this island and the golf cart
was wicked fun - I don't want to learn to play golf
and can't support all that green grass watering -
I just want to  drive the flippin' cart/car - what is it called?! - 
SO MUCH FUN)

2. Never wear flip flops when hiking

(I lost mine in wild rushing water - day 1- 
and had to hike 2 miles over hot sand and through dense brush
in just hubby's socks - I will never make 
fun of his socks with sneakers again - I think they saved my life)

3. Everything tastes better cooked on a grill

(even stuff I make, I knew this already, but forgot somehow)

4. The new Harry Potter land at Universal
(yes, we spent one day in Orlando)
is highly overrated

(I convinced hubs we needed to make a 
3 hour drive to Orlando to see Harry -
we had to check out of our beach house on Saturday
and our flight home wasn't until Monday morning 
and we had to drive 3 hours back
to the airport the next day -
I really wanted to experience
what many are calling "the best amusement park ride evah"
I got instantaneous motion sickness
and spent the ride flying from dementors
with my eyes closed, trying not to puke
and missed the whole thing)

5.  I am not afraid to swim in the ocean 

many better swimmers are - for some reason I'm not
maybe because we saw dolphins everyday and I think where
there are dolphins there are no sharks 

(I passed this info on to a few people on the beach 
before realizing it was probably not a good idea
to spread this around since it is most likely that I made it up)

once the dolphins were only about 25 feet away from me
they told me they prefer Pottery Barn to Target,
Trader Joe's to Whole Foods,
and they wish to God we'd stop peeing in the ocean.

6. Next time I will bring half as many clothes
and twice as much food

(don't be scared - I won't be wearing half as many clothes
at one time - I will just be wearing the same things
over and over again because that's what we did)

7. Never buy your first smartphone
right before your vacation

because you will not know how the hell it works and will be
asking 13 year old strangers to help you

8. (this one is hubs lesson not mine)
When new becomes normal, it stops being made of magic

(he got a little bored - although this could be due to the horrific sunburn he suffered
on the very first day - pic is from day 4, yes it was even worse than it looks here)

9. When hubs says he has put on sunblock -
he has not put on sunblock

10. Beach vacations will always
end the same way -
me clinging to the boat and screaming
that something is wrong with the calendar -
it is really only Tuesday and
I have 4 more days ...
and then of course the Island Police,
handcuffs, fingerprints and some crazy woman
demanding of the officers 
"DON'T YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!"
 - not because I'm famous of course, but just
because my memory is so bad ....

11 comments

Brian Western said...

Hilarious! and would you mind sending me an enlargement of that so called golf shot pose!?!

Catherine Ivins said...

whoa maybe I should delete that! this is not a britney shot! I have 3 layers of swimwear underneath that dress!!!!!

KJ said...

Welcome back to the real world. Sounds like the lesson you learned was "vacations are fun, the beach is fun, and there is always room to learn from experience."

Catherine Ivins said...

waves hello to Kathy- yes and I think I've been under-rating the importance of fun lately...

DancingMooney said...

I'm so glad you had such a great time! Sorry about your hubby's sunburn, that's awful... but I'm sure once the pain wears off, he'll start remembering the good parts and wanting to do it again. Welcome back! :)

Catherine Ivins said...

thanks Janell... and it's nice to come home, too!

lynn bowes said...

Oh my goodness, you lucky dog, you! I'm overstuffed with envy - beach, sun, sand, ocean, darling husband - what's not to love there?

I will say that there's a reason you shouldn't build a retirement house where you love to vacation - where would you go to get away? Back to New Jersey? (or Nebraska, in my case) Still . . .

Welcome home :: lynn

Wear Your Wild said...

Florida sun is wicked, but you know that now! And those waters are full of sharks. Just ask anyone in a kayak, canoe, boat or plane. I go in anyway, damnit!
Looks like y'all had a blast.

Catherine Ivins said...

I know Lynn - everyone from Jersey retires to Florida (no doubt the hanging chad voters) - because we have such good memories of vacations down there- plus we all love Mickey Mouse and oranges ... I did think about sharks Katie, but like you I went in anyway - wth - the only thing that makes me nervous in the ocean is the undertow ....

Monique said...

The Florida sun takes no prisoners. I'm sad that you didn't enjoy Harry Potter. My bff had the same experience on that ride. Did you at least try the frozen butter beer? It's great in the Florida heat.

Catherine Ivins said...

Hi Monique- yes- I loved the butterbeer - I think it settled my stomach after that ride! xo